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Thursday, December 06, 2012

Congrats on Your Unicorn Lair North Korea

Exciting news out of North Korea today!  The Government is reporting that they have located a real live Unicorn Lair. The Korean News Agency reports that the lair most likely is that of the unicorn rode by King Tongmyong.  Luckily, King Tongmyong's peeps had the forethought to carve the words "Unicorn Lair" into the rock above the Lair itself, making it easy to find and identify.

Now before you start thinking that North Korea's propaganda machine is finally and completely off its rocker, think about the story for a second.  Neither North Korea, nor South Korea recognizes the other's legitimacy.  Finding the Unicorn Lair of the personal Unicorn of King Tongmyong in North Korea, adds legitimacy to North Korea's claim that Pyongyang, the capital of North Korea, is the real and legal capital of ALL of Korea. Everyone knows a king would only house his Unicorn near the capital city.

In addition, finding the lair of this mythical creature bolsters the reputation of North Korea's Supreme Leader, Kim Jong Un.  Ascending to the throne in his late 20's without any real experience has been a tough road for Kim Jong Un.  Finding the lair of his ancestor's unicorn lair and proving that he is related to a guy who rode unicorns, makes him look really good. If I had to choose between a leader who made my life better and didn't egregiously violate my human rights and one who had a great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather (we'll go with "relative" as the North Korean history of reporting news doesn't make us that confident that they are related at all) who RODE a UNICORN...yep, unicorn guy wins every time. 

P.S. When they say "unicorn" they actually probably mean this thing

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