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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Jessica Simpson up to Her Old Procreating Tricks

Joy to the world, Jessica Simpson has spawned...AGAIN!  Just 7 months after giving birth to baby Maxi, a source close to the "star" ("singer"?) reported that Jess is knocked up with an unexpected bundle of joy.  If you remember (which you probably do because it was seriously like yesterday) Jessica gestated her first born for approximately 17 months.  That is good news for you Dear Readers! I'm sure this is where you will ask, "why? Is she using her uterus to pressure cook coal into 70 lbs. of diamonds that she will distribute exclusively to GTB readers?" NOPE!  BETTER! Get excited because Jessica Simpson gets even more ridiculous when she is pregnant.  Here's a gem to get you psyched for the next 18-34 months of Jessica's 2nd Pregnancy:

I just started calling myself Swamp Ass. Like, I have 'swamp ass' right now. I had major swamp ass because I was wearing these Spanx to hold in my gut. It's like the bayou up in that region. —The Tonight Show With Jay Leno 



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