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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Judge Roy "I'm a D-Bag" Pearson Earns Additional Title of "Herpes of the Legal System"

The Universe must be pretty jazzed about the return of the GTB because today it spoon-fed me an update on our favorite hijacker of the DC Courts, Judge Roy L. Pearson, Jr.

In case you forgot, Roy Pearson is the guy who has been suing his dry cleaners for $54 million in damages after they lost his pants (he claims) whereby not living up to their promise of "satisfaction guaranteed". The lawsuit has never really gone anywhere, but the legal fees did crush Jin Nam Chung and Soo Chung, the owners of Custom Cleaners, causing them to close their business last year.

Since we are sure you missed Judge D-Bag as much, if not more than you missed us, here's an update on what he has been doing since we last wrote about October 2007 (yeah, it has really been going on that long. In fact, he first filed suit in 2005).

You probably remember that Pearson lost his original suit and appealed it to the DC Court of Appeals. A three-judge panel denied his appeal on the grounds that his argument "defied logic" (I couldn't make this up!). Pearson has now filed another appeal demanding that the full, nine-judge panel hear and respond to his argument.

How did this guy even make it through law school? Isn't there some sort of "Are you Batshit Crazy?" section on the Bar exam? I think I would feel better if Gary Busey threatened to pull out my Endocrine System than I do about Roy L. Pearson actually being a judge. We challenge you, our readers, to come up with a job that you would feel comfortable with Roy L. Pearson having. Preferably one that doesn't require him to wear suit pants since it seems that's how this whole thing started.



Blogger Carrie F. said...

This idiot needs to be kicked out of the bar in such a way! Welcome back GTB!!!!!

12:02 PM

Blogger The Pink Totebag said...

I think roadkill cleaner-upper or perhaps porn star would be perfect for him. The roadkill job is self-explanatory (he'd spend his days amongst his, um, peers), and the whole porn star gig requires no clothes at all... What an a-hole.

7:52 PM

Blogger captainadventure said...

I think he would be a good respondent to Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter. They could say crazy things and then he could argue back with a crazier rebuttal. It might make things amusing rather than straight infuriating.

*I think computers are getting smarter. The word verification thing is getting longer every time I write.

11:18 AM


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