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Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Could it Possibly be True???

A woman in Cuero, Texas is claiming that she and her neighbors have found the bodies of 3 CHUPACABRAS. For those of you who live under a rock, the Chupacabra (a.k.a. the Mexican Goat Sucker) is a creature that has been known to stalk and kill goats, cows, sheep, children, etc. by draining then drinking their blood. Most often spotted in Latin America, the Chupacabra has also made appearances in North America, once as far north as Maine! The very best physical description I could find for the Chupacabra comes from Wikipedia:

The most common description of Chupacabra is a lizard-like being, appearing to have leathery or scaly greenish-gray skin and sharp spines or quills running down its back. This form stands approximately 3 to 4 feet (1 to 1.2 m) high, and stands and hops in a similar fashion to a kangaroo. In at least one sighting, the creature hopped 20 feet (6 m). This variety is said to have a dog or panther-like nose and face, a forked tongue protruding from it, large fangs, and is said to hiss and screech when alarmed, as well as leave a sulfuric stench behind. When it screeches, some reports note that the chupacabra's eyes glow an unusual red, then give the witnesses nausea. For some witnesses, it was seen with bat-like wings.

This description not only reiterates for me that the Chupacabra is by far the coolest animal on earth, but it also makes me think that the Chupacabra is actually Ann Coulter.

The Cuero, Texas residents will send the head of one of the beasts for genetic testing in hopes of determining its lineage. In the meantime, they are selling T-shirts that say "2007 Summer of the Chupacabra". There is a reward to anyone who figures out how I can get my hands on one of these shirts!

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3 Comments:

Blogger (A Little) Gris Gris said...

You have a strange taste in animals. You didn't help pick Oscar out, did you?

I like your AC theory. I hate her.

11:55 AM

 
Anonymous reebs said...

Do you think Ann Coulter's ever been to the third floor of our building? You know what I'm getting at Lu, as in chupacabra with a P! I doubt it though, as I sort of imagine her with a dementor-like aura, where she sucks the light and heat out of the atmosphere everywhere she goes.

3:29 PM

 
Blogger Carrie F. said...

I wouldn't be suprised if Ann C. smelled sulferous...but that just might be the brimstone.

4:10 PM

 

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