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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I'd Rather Be...Anything

With the creation of the position of War Czar, the Bush Administration is proving that there are jobs that Americans won’t take.

So far, the job of War Czar, the person who would oversee the handling of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan (good thing that 5 years in they have decided to put somebody in charge of this! Whole bunch of quick thinkers in this Administration), has been turned down by three of the four-star generals the White House has approached about the possibility of taking the office. Gen. John J. "Jack" Sheehan was asked to consider the position and told the Washington Post, “The very fundamental issue is, they don't know where the hell they're going. So rather than go over there, develop an ulcer and eventually leave, I said, 'No, thanks'".

I imagine the job posting for War Czar would go something like this:

Most Powerful Branch of Constitution-based Federal Republic with strong democratic tradition, seeks scapegoat to clean up ENORMOUS mess in Middle East. Women, Homosexuals, Nancy Pelosi, Intellectuals, accomplished War Strategists, Pacifists, and Democrats need not apply.

I guess Bush should work a little harder on getting his “Guest Worker Program” passed, since it doesn’t look like he has anyone here who is willing to take the job. Maybe he should skip the four-star generals and go right to the insane (think Katherine Harris, Donald Rumsfeld, Pat Robertson, Sam Brownback, Rick Santorum, etc.). If he can’t find a taker there, there is new potential coming across the border everyday!

Please feel free to list jobs you would take rather than be War Czar in the comments section. Most fantastic suggestion wins the prize of…the position of U.S. War Czar. Hooray!

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5 Comments:

Blogger Meg said...

I think this would be a great episode of that discovery show "dirty jobs" if anyone will ever take it... are they really using the word czar??? Has dubs been reading too many russian fairy tales at bed time??

11:52 PM

 
Blogger Courtney said...

They should get Brownie to do it. I mean, he does a heck of a job in messy situations, right.

10:00 AM

 
Anonymous Jono said...

Let's give the job to Bill Bennet. He did great as the Drug Czar. Plus, he loves to gamble! So, win-win.

1:23 PM

 
Anonymous Lulu said...

And this job would be a gamble...a gamble with odds like the big wheel of prizes (= terrible for those of you who don't spend the majority of your free time in a casino). Maybe I should apply! And here I was thinking I would rather give my liver to Ann Coulter than be War Czar! See how gambling can sway my mind.

1:54 PM

 
Anonymous bucket said...

I would rather be the stylist for "Happy Boys Voice." They seem to ooze talent. Or, an accountant.. oh wait..., damn.

4:50 PM

 

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