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Thursday, March 08, 2007

Wisconsin: The My Genitals Are On Fire State

I have always had a sneaking suspicion that Wisconsin might be a boring place. Now, I've never been there and I'm not sure I know anybody from there, so this is probably very judgmental of me. That being said, I have confirmation that things must be awful there because only in a place where things were truly awful, would the following conversation take place (the following conversation is not a direct quotation, merely an assumption based on evidence presented on the internet. So...no factual basis whatsoever.):

Jared W. Anderson, 20: Hey Randell, I'm pretty drunk.
Randell D. Peterson, 43: Really?
Jared W. Anderson, 20: Yeah. Drunk and bored. How about I pull down my pants and you can spray me with lighter fluid and set my genitals on fire.
Randell D. Peterson, 43: Ok.

Randall D. Peterson is charged with felony battery and first-degree reckless endangerment and faces 10 years in prison. Jared W. Anderson is expected to recover. The pair got the idea for the stunt from "Jackass the Movie".

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5 Comments:

Anonymous Jono said...

I don't think simple boredom explains this. No, I think this is the fault of some kind of brain injury resulting from exposure to toxic levels of cheese curd.

1:58 PM

 
Blogger (A Little) Gris Gris said...

Where's Darwin when you need him?

2:02 PM

 
Anonymous Sid, the wily dairy gnome said...

I've never met a Wisconsinite I didn't like (and I've met a greater than average number) but then, I've also never met these two idiots.

2:32 PM

 
Anonymous reebs said...

I haven't read the story (I'm assuming it might not be suitable for work) but some classmates of mine did something similar on our 8th grade trip to Quebec. If I recall correctly, they would spray lysol up and down the front of their pants and then light it with a match. The alcohol would burn at a low temperature and then they would pat out the flames before the fabric caught on fire. Apparently people from Connecticut are not so samrt either.

2:41 PM

 
Anonymous thetumtumtree said...

A guy in my dorm, back in the day, found some rubbing alcohol and decided it was a good idea to stand over the bathroom sink, pour alcohol on his hand, light it on fire and immediately put his hand out in the sink. When this got old he thought it must be even cooler if he lit his entire arm on fire. Didn't bother to check whether his arm would fit in the sink first... it didn't. Good times.
He was completely sober. Completely sober Physics & Engineering double major at Duke University, originally from New York.

10:06 PM

 

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