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Thursday, March 22, 2007


Just as I was getting ready to post a story about a guy in Wisconsin who was convicted for having sexual contact with a dead deer, I decided that bashing Wisconsin (which I hear has really nice people) twice in as many weeks, might be a bit harsh. Lucky for me, just as I was having this moral dilemma, I got an e-mail from our loyal reader Bucket that gave me a new place to very own state of Maryland in general, the city of Baltimore specifically!

Today a crew of Baltimore City workers found a body floating in the Inner Harbor as they were cleaning trash out of the water (they clean the trash out of there? Who knew!) When our reader Bucket, a Baltimore resident, went to google the story to find out a little more info, she discovered that this is (at least) body number 23 to be pulled from the harbor in the last 9 years (there were 22 from 1998- April of 2005, couldn't find the count for 2005-2007...hmmmm...strange).

Now, I'm no marine coroner, but that seems like a lot of bodies to be fished out of one location. Maybe I am wrong though, maybe New York is worse? Yeah, I don't really have time to look it up so, I'm just going to say it is a lot, and anybody out there from Baltimore who wants to defend their city, you can do so in the comments section.

As for you Bucket, it is a good thing you know how to swim!



Anonymous sid, the wily dairy gnome said...

Okay, I might have to revise my defense of Wisconsin. Everyone I have met from there has been both exceeding nice and intelligent; however, news evidence seems to be, when a Wisconsinite gets in the paper, it’s not for anything good. This could be a phenomenon of what papers report;mdash;there’s no need to report on mild-mannered citizens. That being said, my new defense is either “please don’t judge them all from those crazies” or “perhaps Wisconsin tends to attract people on either pole of the crazy/not-crazy spectrum and not so much the mildly crazy folks in the middle.”

4:21 PM

Blogger scooterlulu said...

Sid, I recognize that Wisconsinites are nice. Hence the moral dilemma in posting another Wisconsin crazies story. That being said, even if a nice story about Wisconsin popped up, it would have to be nice and incredibly bizarre to end up posted here. Like if all the dogs in wisconsin were proven to be part dinosaur or something like that. For you though, I will keep an eye out for a story that blends "Good Wisconsin" with "GTB Interest" - LuLu

4:36 PM

Anonymous Dr. Bombay said...

So far this year, there have been 66 murders in Baltimore, and average of 5.5 per week. At the present rate, Baltimore will clock in at a brisk 286 murders for 2007.

According to the 2005 U.S. Census estimate, Baltimore has a population of 658,000 people. At the present rate, this means that it will have a murder rate of 43 per 100,000 residents for the year.

To put this in perspective, if New York had the same murder rate, they would have 8,279 murders this year.

I'd make a joke about how the bodies have to end up somewhere, and the harbor is a likely end, but you really shouldn’t poke fun at a holocaust.

4:36 PM

Anonymous sid said...

LuLu, I did not mean to chastise the awesome GTB, I meant more to at once thank you for your gracious choice not to post that latest weirdness, and admit that I can no longer turn a blind eye to the insane branch of Wisconsin. I do not take issue with any GTB posting, and I do not wish to censor your awesomeness, so please do not worry about offending me when the next bizarre situation arises in the Dairy State.

4:44 PM

Anonymous Bucket said...

Actually Lu,
The body was found yesterday. But, at the rate at which bodies are found there, another one could have been found that I do not know about. The funniest/worst part about this is that in college when we would go to fells point some drunk Loyola guy (usually someone I knew unfortunately) would jump in the harbor for money. I guess they didnt think about the fact that there were probably decaying bodies. gross. None the less, 'Why Be Less when you could B-More?"

4:45 PM

Blogger scooterlulu said...

Sid, I know you weren't chastising, I just want everyone to know that we write about what comes our way. We don't pick out states to target. If there are more stories about one place than another, that is simply the luck of the draw.

The exception being Virginia. We look for bad things to write about Virginia. -Lulu

5:04 PM

Blogger scooterlulu said...

When I worked at the Aquarium, I used to get to work early and get a bagel for me and a bagel for the harbor. I would sit and eat my bagel and toss bits of it into the water. Something with a mouth would come up from underneath the bagel and swallow it whole. Literally, just a mouth. I have no idea what it was, but it haunts my dreams. -Lulu

5:06 PM

Anonymous miremaiden said...

I know that haunting mouth! or at least a freshwater version. At the pond I used to try to through bread for the ducks (since learned that's bad) the ducks didn't get to it before a huge mouth gulped it down. In freshwater it was a HUGE A** catfish, could be anything in a bay...

5:27 PM

Anonymous Jono said...

Dr B.'s stats don't lie - Baltimore, as well as Detroit, have murder rates that make larger cities look like Utopias.

Of course, not too far behind in the murder department Maryland also boasts PG County, which I suspect if you crunched the numbers would also give NYC a run for its money.

9:03 AM

Anonymous Dr. Bombay said...

Just for the hell of it, here are the PG County Stats:

So far this year, 37 people have been slain in PG County, and average of 2.8 per week. Should this continue, the County wil rack up 146 for the year.

According to the 2005 Census Estimate, PG County has a population of 846,000. At the present rate, they'll finish the year with 17.25 murders per 100,000 residents.

Extrapolating that to NYC, the murder rate would be 1395 this year.

I screwed up a calculation yesterday, and I'd like to point out that if you grafted Bodymore's homicide rate on NYC, the actual number would be 3,476. It's less, but not really any better.

Another sobering thought, just to compare. Total number of casulaties from September 11: 2,819.

Somtimes I can't believe we just elected the Mayor of that fair city Govenor of the whole state. I'm sure that's going to work out well.

9:25 AM

Anonymous Lulu said...

A.) it isn't PG County any more. It is Prince Georges. B.) Don't knock Martin O'Malley. The man is a rock star for God's sake!

9:31 AM

Blogger (A Little) Gris Gris said...

I think my mom mentioned that there were 5 murders in "Prince George's" County last week. Despite her 30 year commitment to the county and ever bleeding heart, she was not happy. But, at least those bodies aren't eating Lulu's bagels!

9:57 AM

Blogger (A Little) Gris Gris said...

By the by; are we traitors for talking PG w/o the Mose?

9:58 AM

Anonymous Dr. Bombay said...

Gris, yes there were. The FBI is now involved. I'm willing to make a substantial wager that the reasoning behind the uptick probably involves guns, drugs, and a lack of economic opportunity. Hitman is to criminal organization as lawyer is to big company.

Mose lives in MoCo now, so his bona fides are suspect.

10:56 AM

Anonymous reebs said...

Having lived in Baltimore in for the better part of my adult life, I can attest that the crime there is pretty bad. Sadly, in addition to the approximately 300 murders/year, the number of other crimes (violent and otherwise) is also staggering. I feel like I got away easy having only had my car stolen. I had friends who were mugged at gunpoint, and a Hopkins student was murdered not two blocks from where I lived. It's a good thing I live in DC now, because that's nice and safe...

1:21 PM

Anonymous Lulu said...

Captain Adventure and I were in Baltimore once and she left her car unlocked. Not so shockingly, she got robbed. What is hilarious is that they took her maglite and used it to bust the windows of every other car on the street. By leaving her car unlocked, she actually ended up saving her windows, while inadvertantly sacrificing the belongings of others. I wonder if Captain Adventure is able to laugh about that one yet.

1:30 PM

Blogger (A Little) Gris Gris said...

I happened to be in Baltimore with Lulu and Captain Adventure on the night in question. Captain Adventure was a crime magnet at that time in her life. Poor Cap.

1:32 PM

Anonymous lulu said...

That's right! You were there. So was fumbles! Why does everyone associated with this blog get into trouble all the time?

1:35 PM

Blogger (A Little) Gris Gris said...

I don't know Lu, but someone once told me that the trouble with trouble is that it starts out with fun.

1:45 PM

Blogger CaptainAdventure said...

what is also funny was that they DID NOT take the case of wine I had in the car. Just my cash and my maglight. It also took the cops about 2 hours to get there. But that said, I am not sure cities are so much a safer bet. I love mountain living, but some of these towns would scare the beejeezus out of a Bmore thug. A comedian I saw once hit the nail on the head...

"Cities are scary. But they'll just shoot you. In the country...they'll keep you".

1:49 PM

Blogger CaptainAdventure said...

All that and I forgot to say that two years ago, my friend who runs the Baltimore Harbor program for CBF found a body up against their boat the morning of a trip. They had to wait to have it removed before they could pick up the kids. I think I would have had trouble talking about what blue crabs ate that day.

1:52 PM

Anonymous Lulu said...

I would probably tell the kiddies the truth..."In baltimore, the blue crabs eat bodies. That's why we get our crab meat from Venezuela!"

1:57 PM

Anonymous reebs said...

I can appreciate the breakin story - my car got its windows smashed out and all they took was a toy that I had bought for my niece. I bet the person who stole the maglite and broke all the other windows worked for the glass replacement company. That was what we always suspected.

2:06 PM


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