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Friday, February 09, 2007

Anna Nicole Not Gonna Be Buried Anytime Soon

A life story that couldn't get more bizarre has taken a final grisly twist. A judge ruled today that Anna Nicole Smith's body will be preserved pending a paternity hearing scheduled for February 20th. Lawyers for Larry Birkhead, one of the men claiming to be the father of Smith's baby Dannielynn, are worried that someone might pull a "bait and switch" with the child and would like for Anna to remain available if confirmation of Dannielynn's identity is required.

I'm not sure why they need to keep ALL of Anna Nicole around. If I remember from that time I got my degree in Biology, you don't need a whole body for a DNA sample (I slept through the majority of Genetics, but I think I would have remembered this one). Do they plan to haul her into court and perform the testing there, just to make sure the DNA used to confirm Dannielynn's identity came from the actual Anna Nicole? I don't think they'd go through this much effort to confirm who is the rightful King of England, but I guess Dannielynn could end up being worth more. What a sad and sort of sick ending. I hope when this is all over, Anna will finally find some peace. She'll just have to wait another 12 days.



Blogger CaptainAdventure said...

I don't understand why she/her body needs to be there. I also don't understand the concern of baiting and switching the baby, and why having a corpse around will prevent that. Someone explain.

2:13 PM

Blogger scooterlulu said...

Duh CaptainAdventure! Haven't you ever read Article 5 of the Constitution. It reads "A Corpse In Court Will Keep the Heathens Honest." Or maybe that is the one about the guns. I don't remember. -lulu

2:35 PM

Anonymous thetumtumtree said...

Article 5 of the constitution spells out how the constitution can be amended. Switching the baby could let someone not the father, appear to be the father, assuming he had a spare baby of the same age and description, which he actually fathered, lying around. Keeping her whole body from being laid to rest is overkill. No pun or disrespect intended. My heart goes out to that poor child.

2:48 PM

Blogger scooterlulu said...

Perhaps the constitution should be amended to include something about bringing corpses into court. I want my parents to adopt Dannielynn as my 4th sister. -Lulu

2:58 PM

Anonymous Jono said...

Actually, I think this is one of those cases involving "Powers delegated to the States." In other words, the Constitution essentially prohibits the Federal government from interfering with an individual state requiring corpses be kept in court.

But I'm still too grief stricken to be arguing Con Law. First, we lose THIS.

3:09 PM

Anonymous thetumtumtree said...

There's a word in Latin that specifically means "to pollute with a corpse." Can't remember what it is.

3:09 PM

Blogger scooterlulu said...

Defenestration? Wait, no. That means to throw out the window.

3:15 PM

Anonymous reebs said...

I do have a little bit of experience in this realm, and I never heard anyone say you needed the whole Mom in order to do paternity testing. I would recommend picking a part that's original and extracting the DNA from it, but that's just one girl's opinion.

3:37 PM

Anonymous thetumtumtree said...

Perhaps reebs has hit upon it. It might take all of her to find enough "that's original."

3:54 PM

Blogger scooterlulu said...

The judge also seemed confused about why you needed the mom's DNA for a paternity suit. That's when they came out with the "We don't want them to give us a different baby" argument. They act like 5 month old babies are all over the place just looking to be hauled into court for DNA testing. "Quick Howard K. Stern! Run outside and grab us a baby so we can pull the old switcheroo!"-Lulu

3:55 PM

Anonymous Dr. Bombay said...

TumTum, you might mean "habeas corpus", which literally means "you should have the body". It is the name of a legal action or writ by means of which detainees can seek relief from unlawful imprisonment. However, habeas corpus has a much broader meaning in common law today. A writ of habeas corpus is a court order addressed to a prison official (or other custodian) ordering that a prisoner be brought before the court for determination of whether that person is serving a lawful sentence and/or be released from custody.

8:17 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you write wikipedia or did wikipedia write you?

8:55 AM

Anonymous Dr. Bombay said...

I'm only slightly smarter than a circus seal, so I obviously got that from Wikipedia. Thanks for thinking I might have contributed that though.

10:03 AM


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