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Friday, January 26, 2007

Girls Threaten Bunny's Ability to Keep "Going and Going and Going"

Six teenage girls (all 9th graders) from the rural town of Dunlap, outside of Chattanooga, Tennessee stand accused of “Conspiracy to Commit Criminal Homicide” (is there such a thing as non-criminal homicide?) after a list of people they intended to kill was found in a trash can at their high school. At first the list was considered a prank until police read postings on the girls’ MySpace pages that further alluded to their homicidal plot. The list contained the names of 300 classmates and high school faculty members along with Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey, and the Energizer Bunny. A detention hearing is scheduled for today and the teens are expected to plead “Not Guilty”.

A few things struck me about this story. 1.) When will kids learn to NOT POST CRAP THEY CAN GET ARRESTED FOR ON MYSPACE?? 2.) These girls threatened to kill the richest woman in entertainment (I think, but don’t feel like looking up), a guy everybody wants to strangle 98% of the time, and a battery company’s fictional mascot (and 300 people at their school). They are facing criminal charges. In front of millions of television viewers*, Pat Robertson suggested we kill THE PRESIDENT OF VENEZUELA. Then he suggested it again on TV the next day. Then in a written statement a few days later. Then he said it again on FOX News a year after that. Pat Robertson, not in trouble at all. Seems odd.

This is not to say that those girls shouldn’t be punished. Joke or not, I think some time in the clink could serve them well. Maybe they could blog about the communal showers and knife fights on their MySpace pages.


*I have no idea how many people actually watch the 700 Club. The number is probably closer to 8, but I’ve got some other things to take care of and don’t have time to check this particular fact.

5 Comments:

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3:12 PM

 
Blogger scooterlulu said...

Hey Dreamban,

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3:18 PM

 
Anonymous Dr. Bombay said...

Several items of note:

1) Criminal homicide is distinct from non-criminal homicide, in that the later are the results of an act or omission without criminal intent. Criminal homicide could include premeditated murder (Mafia hit), depraved indifference (running people over on the sidewalk because Wisconsin Avenue is blocked again), or manslaughter. Non criminal homicide could include killing in self defense (LuLu capping Mr. Bean for looking at her out of his good eye one time too many), or a hunting accident.

2) Turns out the “700” in “700 Club” refers to the amount of dollars you need to give to join. I was unaware that so many people were willing to give $700 to a deranged old man claiming that he wants to have to government kill people, but now that I do, I’m planning on a second career.

4:30 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. when did "dr. bombay" get his JD???
2. they prob should have charged the girls w/ criminal attempt to commit genocide considering the large quantity of kiddies on their list
3. perhaps they can get a pardon as to the ones nobody objects to (ie, tom cruise, pat robertson (and/or the entirity of the 700 club) and so on. atleast, i would.

12:57 PM

 
Blogger scooterlulu said...

Anonymous - They weren't going to kill Pat Robertson or the 700 club. I was just pointing out that Pat Robertson gets to threaten whoever he wants and never gets in trouble. It would be funny if the judge was like "Well, you are definitely in trouble for saying you are going to kill Oprah, but we are going to let that Tom Cruise thing slide because he infuriates everyone." -lulu

1:43 PM

 

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