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Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Big Gay Soy

Soy might make you gay. Jim Rutz (neither a scientist nor gay) contends in a recent article on World Net Daily that delicious soy makes people gay by overloading their bodies with estrogen. He also informs us of the fact that soy destroys fertility and gives children Leukemia. Confused by the conflicting reports (that soy is good for you vs. soy making you gay and giving kids cancer), I turned to the internet. This guy (actual scientist) says soy is good for me, and this guy (blogger) says Jim Rutz is crazy. Since I can't get an answer, I'm going to cover all my bases by dipping my soy corn dogs in anabolic steroids.

Sadly, to investigate this piece I had to spend some time on World Net Daily (where they advertise a "Nukalert" key chain, "Personal Radiation Detector and Alarm") and I discovered something more astonishing and horrible than how evil soy is ruining America...Chuck Norris writes for them. He has a weekly column. Remember how you felt when you found out there was no Santa Claus or Tooth Fairy? That's how I feel about knowing that Chuck Norris writes for World Net Daily. Kind of like there is a vacuum in my soul and the world will never be right again. It is comforting to know that soy is slowly destroying my body and I won't have to deal with this disappoinment for forever.

*Thanks to Captain Adventure and an Anonymous source for the tip.



Anonymous Reebs said...

Does this have anything to do with the recently discovered association between being smart and becoming a vegetarian? Clearly (since I am not a vegetarian and therefore not smart) I am having a hard time deciphering what must be an obvious link...

1:48 PM


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