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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Taking a Different Route with Kim Jong Il

You may remember that when the US thought that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, we invaded their country, deposed their leader, and started a civil war*. Turns out they didn't have those WMD's, but Saddam is one crazy bitch so it is good he is gone, but in general, Iraq is a mess. Now, North Korea does have weapons, or at least they are working on some. We know they have weapons because they tell us they have weapons. Then they tell us they are going to test those weapons. Then they do test those weapons. Then those tests fail so they test them again. Then they remind us...often...that they are working on getting those weapons to work so that they have the option to destroy us.

Let's review, North Korea DOES have weapons, but mayhaps after learning a little lesson in Iraq, the US doesn't want to rush into something drastic (we also don't really have the money or military resources to do anything at all right now). Instead, the US, with the cooperation of the UN, are planning to impose some rather creative trade sanctions on North Korea and it's leader Kim Jong Il, doppleganger to Sofia Loren. The plan cut off access to all the things that make his life "The Fabulous Life of Kim Jong Il". Here are a few items on the list of North Korea No Go's: cognac, Rolex watches, cigarettes, artwork, expensive cars, Harley Davidson motorcycles, Ipods, plasma TV's, yachts, and Jet Skis. It is known that Kim Jong Il likes the finer things so the new sanctions are sure to be, at the very least, irritating. I guess it can't hurt right? Might not actually make him abandon his nuclear weapons program, but at least we know he'll be giving out crap this Holiday Season.

As a side note, in researching this article I discovered that Kim Jong Il owns a copy of the groundbreaking and heartwarming classic "The Bodyguard" starring Whitney Houston. Kind of makes me want to go to Kim Jong Il's place for movie night. But it won't be as much fun without the cognac and cigarettes.

*Iraq may or may not or may be engaged in a civil war.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

So Kim Jong Il likes Whitney Houston movies and Bin Laden likes Whitney Houston? Maybe to really make over her image, Whitney should meet with them both and then we will have world peace. Just a thought...

11:42 AM

Blogger scooterlulu said...

It is exactly that kind of creative diplomacy that the US lacks. Thanks for the fantastic idea and for commenting Danielle! - Lulu

11:46 AM


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