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Friday, November 03, 2006

Ann Coulter Under Investigation for Super Boring Reason

Ann Coulter might be going to jail. It turns out that she may have knowingly voted in the wrong precinct during a February 7th, Palm Beach Town Council election (yes, it is an election nobody cares about). That’s a felony. Unfortunately, this probably won’t pan out and I’ll admit it is kind of a witch hunt, but…if it wears pointy shoes and bakes little children in pies*, you should probably throw it in the river to see if it can swim.

Ann “Man Mitts” Coulter would make a pretty fantastic prison girlfriend for one (or more) lucky lady(s). Maybe if she found prison love she wouldn't be so furious and awful all the time. If you too would like to meet a very special incarcerated someone, click here.

*"bakes little children in pies” is of course Latin for “isn’t a very kind person.”

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Anonymous bucket said...

OK. Given my aversion to politically themed postings, I will comment on prison penpals. They are basically the cream of the crop when it comes to boyfriends who are only with you out of last resort (another example would be someone using you to gain citizenship). You barely have to see them, which works out well if you are busy, like myslef. They don't require much in terms of presents (a pack of cigs or a toothbrush that can be sharpened will do). And, you never have to meet the inlaws because why would he share his conjugal visit time with his parents. Definitely not the Menedez brothers. Anyways, I am off to get my prison beau....

6:04 PM

Blogger (A Little) Gris Gris said...

Have you read the "Why I Hate Ann Coulter" book? I mean, it's not like the contents aren't already floating around in our heads, but it's funny. I was reading it in the Portland, OR airport today. Side note: Portlanders are very smart. Not simply b/c they stock anti-Ann Coulter books in their airports, but for many other reasons as well. When we get serious about the commune, we should look into going there. Might not even need a commune if we go to such an enlightened community.

1:13 AM


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