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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

A Sad Day for Chickens as Anti-Cruelty Champion Gives up Fight

In a disappointing turn of events Mr. Kentucky Fried Cruelty.com has petitioned the court to have his name changed back to Chris Garnett. Fried Cruelty.com (aka Garnett), who works for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), changed his name last fall to garner awareness for the PETA website of the same name.

Fried Cruelty.com was not the only employee who took this drastic step in the name of animal rights. PETA workers Karin Robertson and Brandi Valladolid became "GoVeg.com" and "Ringling beats animals.com" respectively (GoVeg.com has since gone back to using Karin Robertson while Ringling Beats Animals.com remains crazy...I mean dedicated to the cause).

This is a sad day for chickens everywhere. Clearly, Fried Cruelty.com loved those damn chickens. He loved them enough to change his name to a website promoting their welfare. Who will fight the good fight now? Will Colonel Sanders find new and better ways to torture these creatures? Will Combo #4 soon become "1 Bucket of Live Chickens, 1 Blow Torch, 1 Large Soft Drink"? Great. Now I'm crying.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Dr. Bombay said...

I pass a Popeyes on the way to the Metro. Their is always this one homeless guy out front, holding a sign asking for donations, presumably to get something to eat. I'm sure he doesn't care one bit about cruelty to chickens becasue he's starving.

When Mr. Fried Cruelty changes his name to Mr. Help the Less Fortunate Among Us, I'll know we're heading in the right direction.

6:04 PM

 
Blogger (A Little) Gris Gris said...

Getting serious for a moment. I love animals, but I have always found PETA ridiculous. Fear not, I held these beliefs prior to moving to Bama, Alabama, so it's not like I've been affected by southern *sensibilities*. I digress, I think they're all idiots for changing their names and I hope that the judge doesn't let Mr. Chicken Face change his name back. We must all sit down to a banquet of consequences every now and then: Mr. Chicken Face, this is yours. Besides, I never liked KFC in the first place. Everyone who's anyone knows that Popeyes is where it's at.

8:16 AM

 

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