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Thursday, June 29, 2006

Yes Sir, I am Brad Pitt & I am Here for my $22,000

A Jordanian man is on trial this week, charged with forgery and embezzlement, after creating a fake ID using a photo of American Super Hunk, Brad Pitt. The man downloaded the picture off of the internet and created the ID using Brad’s picture, and a faux Arabic name in an attempt to swindle the exchange house where his brother worked out of $22K in unclaimed cash.

There are a few rules from “The Good Bandits Guide to Embezzlement and Forgery” that this guy seems to have forgotten. 1.) When attempting to defraud an establishment using a fake ID, you use your REAL picture, or the picture of a person who resembles you, combined with an alias. The purpose of the fake ID is to avoid telling the person who you are defrauding your real name, not to fool them about what you look like. Unless you are robbing a bank run by blind people, then anything goes. 2.) If you ignore rule one and decide to use a fake photo on your fake ID, simply use the internet to find a free, low-resolution picture. Avoid searching for “most photographed and recognized American Actor who is in the news ALL the time these days after having an affair and a baby with most photographed and recognized American Actress.” I feel bad for this guy because last time I checked, Jordanian prisons no longer hold "Who Did the Stupidest Thing to Get Sent Here" contests. He's a day late and $22,000 short I 'spose.

I also wonder if Brad Pitt realizes that if he moves to Jordan he can be married to Angelina Jolie AND Jennifer Aniston (best of both worlds!) AND he doesn’t have to go to the DMV because somebody already made him an ID! Hizzzaaah!


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